So it's the end of the year, and it's supposed to be some sort of milepost. I never have thought much of the hullabaloo made about a new year. Maybe it's the historian in me: a year that's several months old has a worn feeling that's comfortable, while a new year, with twelve new months, feels strange and a little scary. There's 12 new months for things to happen, and potentially go wrong. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that I was born at night, and thus I'm not a morning person. I don't know. It's not like it really matters, for it's not like you feel the orbit of the world shift a little bit at midnight or anything like that. And in a few weeks, things will be as normal; soon, it'll be Spring, and when the birds come back and the trees start to turn green again and the earth starts to come back to life, I'll wonder why I was so ambiguous about a new year when things turn beautiful. That's the way it always works.
In between the parties and the "year in review" retrospectives (there was a time when I could have become very wealthy had I collected $1 for each time some television news producer thought it inventive to play 10,000 Maniacs' "These Are Days" behind a three-minute clipfest of the previous year's events), there's also this business of resolutions for the new year. For whatever reason, I've never really done that. I did it, maybe, once or twice and the habit didn't take. No, here it's more mundane. Yesterday I started a list of the things the two of us need to accomplish in the new year. Most of them are routine, if not mundane. For instance, I still have yet to find a dentist I feel really comfortable with, and I need to solve that little problem in the next few months. There are also two or three commissioned projects I need to get delivered, and soon. But, if you're looking for earth-shattering stuff like "I need to lose 50 pounds" or "quit cussing," you're out of luck. (If I lost 50 pounds, I'd get put in a hospital, and if I quit using cuss words...well, let's not go there, shall we?)
Then there's other routine stuff. If hubby and I can both remain gainfully employed, can stay in the house, can stay safe and healthy, and can keep the tiger happy, then that's all we really need. Anything more than that, especially given the circumstances around the country and around the world, is pure gravy as far as I'm concerned. I guess I have a vague, but real, feeling of hope for our country in the new year, and I hope our incoming new leadership will know how to make things get better. (That's what I hope, anyhow. The reality may be different, as things are so screwed up, I'm not sure just who could fix things. But, then again, anyone could probably do a better job than I could. Mongo only pawn in game of life.)
As for loftier goals, I don't consider those part of the abrupt "turn over a new leaf" ideal of a resolution; they're always in the back of my mind as things I constantly need to do. Like, for instance, not holding grudges the way I tend to do -- and I'm not talking about the sort of somewhat comical grudge, like not forgiving NBC for canceling Manimal. (Besides, NBC's made considerable progress towards my forgiveness by bringing us 30 Rock.) Nope, I have a handful of real, three-alarm grudges I carry against a few people who did me wrong, and I'll freely admit that the older I get, the more ridiculous it seems to carry them. But I don't have to wait until Jan. 1 to admit that, or to tell myself to work on dumping them.
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