If Tuesday was a barrel of giggles, yesterday was a laugh riot.
I'll spare you the gory details, but let's say that at one memorable point, I was reminded that no good deed goes unpunished, and in the process I was subjected to things that surprised and disappointed me. The more the matter went on, the more trivial the point of contention seemed. So I gave in. As a practical matter, it was probably the best way to solve the problem. But I came out of it feeling manipulated. Even worse, I felt I was rewarding a form of behavior I loathe.
Back in the day, I'd have never dared do this kind of thing to someone. Now, there's little that surprises me. Back in my undergraduate days, I'd wonder why some professors seemed mean and impatient with some folks. Now, I understand. Anyone who thinks the average professor's life is like what you see in the movies, like The Paper Chase or Quiz Show, is sadly mistaken. There are days when I feel I'm really teaching high school, if not junior high school. (And "respect your elders"? Ha!)
Does it frustrate me? Absolutely. I came to this from a professional background, where you find out in a hurry that if you miss deadlines or show up late or whatever you can imagine, you're toast. If you're a 20-year-old mouthing off to your program director or to your editor, you're history. It's a hard world out there, and you have to follow orders, do your work, keep your trivial gripes to yourself, and stand out if you want to get ahead. That's what I try to prepare my students for. But often, it seems, I'm made to feel I shouldn't be a teacher so much as a cruise director. My job often seems like it's in "customer service." I try to make the best of it, and work within the boundaries I have. But, sometimes, it's awful hard. I try to be fair and humane, and to realize that life happens. But, despite your best efforts, you still get snakebit.
I spent the rest of the day with the gray cloud hanging over me, playing through the hurt. My next class didn't go so swell, and I came close to not making it through. I got through the rest of the day, but spent a very quiet evening still feeling like I'd had the crap kicked out of me. I spent most of yesterday wishing somebody had given me a hug. It wouldn't have been much, but it would have been something to make the feeling come back.
But this is a new day. There's a show that has to go on. And the week's coming to a close. I hope the next one will be much better.
:: The curse of what you ask for It's funny that I talk about somebody having a complaint, for I'm just coming off having resolved a situation in my own life. But the funny part? Not only did I put my request in a polite manner, but having gotten what I wanted in return, I feel a little guilty about it.
A couple weeks ago we went on a trip and spent a couple nights at a hotel. I'd booked this stay through a special offer tied in with my credit card. Among other things, it was to have included free breakfast for the two of us and a set of coupons toward a future stay. It meant a higher rate than another rate I could have gotten, but I figured that by the time you figured in breakfast and so forth, it would about even out.
So we go to the hotel and spend the weekend. None of the promised benefits materialize. And part of it's on me. I don't press the question when we check in, nor do I press it during our stay. Part of it's because we're in the company of a friend who came to be with us, and I don't want to cause a scene. And part of it is, I just flat out dread confrontation. Plus, I like to go into any situation with as much evidence as I can. I didn't have the full paper trail I wanted to have (nor could I access the Interweb to re-check my reservation, for it was one of those pay-for-everything places). Nor did it help that the front desk help seemed...well, slightly brittle. I didn't get good vibes about my chances dealing with them.
When we came back, I kind of stewed about it a bit. It had been a good weekend, but I didn't get what I thought I would. Should I investigate, or should I just let it go since part of it was on me? I couldn't decide. After a few days, I figured I should at least get an explanation, if for no other reason than to satisfy my curiosity, and sent a message through the web inquiring about it. I didn't expect anything in return. If anything, I expected some kind of explanation involving the hotel not taking part, or some kind of business about terms and conditions, or something like that. I'm accustomed to being on the wrong end of these things, since experience has taught me that the other party will usually find a way out.
A few nights ago I was contacted by the hotel manager. He was very nice about the whole thing, apologized to me about it, and all that. He promised not only to forward the coupons and give me a bit of a rebate on the stay, but told me he'd put my name on a special list. Apparently, the next time we go down there, he wants to give us the full treatment, a special rate and an upgrade. (Shades of Don Draper being wooed by Connie Hilton.)
Part of me felt some vindication after all this. But the episode also activated the weird guilt I feel when I complain about something and get something in return. I don't know where it comes from, but when I get something out of something like this, nine times out of ten I feel bad, as if I've created a problem for someone. It's really silly for me to feel that way, especially since it usually happens in a business context. If it comes out of someone being nasty to me (as happened once at a Target store), or if it comes from someone just not acting like they care (as happened in the Atlanta airport on a rather memorable trip back home from Anchorage several years ago), or from someone just doing something stupid or unsafe, then I don't feel that bad about raising a stink. But if it's a milder issue, and I get something out of it, I kind of feel guilty.
I shouldn't feel badly about what happened. It's the job of that manager to see that problems are taken care of, and in a way, I'm to blame for my own situation. On the other hand, I didn't get what I paid for, and they needed to know about it.
Or maybe all this -- both with work, and with this customer service deal -- is just the universe telling me it's time to take another trip.
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