Right now, I'm in the midst of a glorious few days off. They are much needed.
Why? Because I tend to get a little too Type-A when it comes to work and my responsibilities there. So much so that the last few weeks, it's eaten into my sleep. There have been a few nights when I've awakened, it seemed, every hour on the hour because I was worried about oversleeping and being late (being late, no less, for my early arrival at the office).
I think this is one of my biggest character flaws, especially in the line of work I'm in. I very much have a technician's mindset: identify the problem and solve it, and keep the shenanigans to a minimum. Give me a task and a deadline and leave me alone, and I'll move mountains. (And, as much as I grumble when it happens, some of my best work comes against close deadlines, when my back's to the wall.)
This, of course, does you few favors in academia. Your entire life is about having to be patient: with students (at least half of whom, no matter how you try to persuade them to do something the right way, will happily do the opposite much of the time), with colleagues, with higher-ups. Some folks adapt to it better than others. In my case, I'm better than I used to be, but old habits die hard. I have a troubleshooter's tactical mindset in a world that's more about a thinker's strategic philosophy. I have to be, in part, a psychologist who gets inside the minds of my students in order to figure out how best to motivate them.
And I'm also a bit of a perfectionist, too. I want things to go well. But the classroom is a place where anything can happen. I'm up there wanting to do my best. The students just want to get it over with. And, yes, sometimes comedy does ensue. That makes things difficult for somebody who's not really a people person. I'm not the most patient person when somebody tries to keep me from accomplishing what I have to get done, and it's probably where I have the most problems. I'll be working on it, I guess, for the rest of my life.
The weekends are the only time I can really unwind. The alarm clock isn't staring me down. The noise of the office isn't awaiting me. I'm not distracted by the "ping!" of my e-mail alert or the chirp of my telephone. I can actually read things and give them my full attention. (Well, more or less.) And I don't have to put on the sociability for a good, long while.
Monday, and the return to work, will be here too soon. For now, at least, there's time for another cup of coffee.
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