It's coming up on the semester midpoint, and so far, it's gone well. I never thought I'd hear myself say that, but it's true.
Up until last semester, I often operated by the seat of my pants. Some classes, I'd have lecture notes, but in others I'd let the class dictate its own flow. Sometimes, that was a good thing. Most of the time, it wasn't that wise. In addition, I'd let myself get crossed up on my own course policies, and sometimes I'd fly by the seat of my pants on those, too. I'd look the other way sometimes when I should have put my foot down, and then later I'd get mad with myself for being such a soft touch.
I'd been able to get away with it until something happened one day last semester, and a situation with a student and an ambiguous policy (and something I didn't remember saying, too, and probably didn't say) made my whole world blow up in my face. As painful as that was to endure, I probably had it coming.
After that, out of determination as much as irritation, I started overhauling everything. And I mean everything. Syllabi got retouched, reviewed, and retouched again. New lecture notes got written for courses I'd previously just sort of floated through. New assignments and exercises were created. The autopilot I'd been operating on for six years was switched off. Now, my hands would be on the yoke, my head would be on a swivel and my eyes would be out the window, always looking to head off trouble before it began.
It all looked great in theory. But then January came, and with it a new semester. I wondered if I'd be able to make it happen. But the first day came, and I laid it out. New rules, new expectations, new assignments and new opportunities. And to my surprise, thus far it's worked. The problems that plagued me last semester have pretty much gone away. Not every problem is solved -- some, no matter how you try, you won't be able to prevent -- but most of this semester, so far, has been completely different. Better still, the courses with retouched notes have gone very well, and the students have responded favorably to the new exercises and activities.
The best part, though, has been that I literally feel different, and for the better. For the last few years, I've almost behaved as if my career was some sort of accident and I was just playing along the best I could. Oh, I hit my marks and delivered the material fine, but there wasn't too much fire there. Now, though, my attitude is different. Now I feel in command of myself, and of my material. I do things with more confidence. I don't walk into the classroom with dread the way I used to. It's almost like, over the off-season, I told myself, "It's time you really got serious about this." So I did.
And to think, all this happened because of one of the worst days of my professional life. Sometimes the most useful education does come from a skinned knee.
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