Yesterday I met up with an old friend and had lunch. It's scary how long we've known each other. We became friends in seventh grade, and except for a few gaps here and there we've known one another a good 25 years or so. It was one of those friendships that happened because we were both part of the "freaks and geeks" group: we were on the quiz bowl team, we both loved science and history, we had the ability to astonish and amuse one another with obscure cultural references, and so forth. With a few gaps here and there, we've stayed in contact through the years. He started a career, got married and has a family; I did my graduate school thing, settled into academia, got married and all that.
I forget how the topic came around, but we were discussing how long we've known each other, and some of the characters we knew back when, and that it's coming up on two decades since we graduated high school. And we both had the same reaction: although the realization sort of makes you realize that time flies, neither of us really had any kind of emotion about it. It just is.
Back in the day I wondered what it would be like. I remember the night of my mother's 20-year reunion, which my parents went to (and weren't impressed). Back then, 20 years seemed like an impossibly long time, and the thought of approaching 40 sounded like your life was about to end. But now it's our turn, my friend and I, and neither of us can really get that bothered by it.
We talked about it a bit, and it's interesting how similar our reactions were: though we have fun talking about the old days and some of the crazy things we did and some of the gags we pulled, we can't get swept up in nostalgia. As I said to him, I can't really pine for those old days. Why should I? I'm settled, I have a good job that's very rewarding most of the time, I have someone who loves me, I have friends and family who love me, and sometimes I get to go on some incredible adventures. I am happy and reasonably content. I can't even get upset about approaching 40, because I'm finding that age and experience bring their own gifts. With each year I find a little more wisdom than I had before, and that I'm a little better at figuring out what's trivial and what's really worth fighting for. I've found that all the years when things didn't go my way were really an education no amount of money can buy.
Are there things I'd do differently if I had the chance? Perhaps, but most of them are tiny things. If I did too much differently, I wouldn't have the life I have now, and it's a life that is very blessed. I've thought about that many times, but it was interesting to hear my friend echo much the same sentiment.